Beardface.

The question was posed to me: "How did your beard get so awesome? I can't grow one, I'm a little jealous."

My beard is a veritable force of nature, as all beards are. Even if you can't grow a PROPER beard, a goatee can be substituted at 70% Manliness. A mustache is also acceptable at 10% Manliness, but only that low because of gay porn...it would be -5% manliness if not for Tom Selleck.

That said, a mans beard is a visual indicator of his ability to fistfight a bear.

This is measured in Beard units. One beard unit means you could take one Grizzly bear in a fight. Two beard units equates to two Grizzly bears, ad infinitum. My beard registers at 4 beard units, while the guys from ZZ Top both register at 23 beard units.